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Ren Shikami

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Ren Shikami Empty Ren Shikami

Post by Ren Shikami Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:20 am

Name: Ren Shikami

Age: 13

Divine Ancestry: Sol, the old god of the sun

Mortal Family: Karahito Shikami

Years at Camp: 3 years

Rank: Legionnaire

History: When Ren was a little boy he never got a sunburn, even when lying on the ground in a swimsuit. His mother was a hard working mother, being a lone parent. Ren always believed that his dad died being a astronaut, going to the moon, missed and flew into the sun. As a boy, he always loved the sky, the solar system and all of the planets, but most of all the sun. He always wanted to glare at it and see what it looked like. As a student his life was difficult, being ADHD and dyslexic. He made tons of friends and was able to have a crowd. He was famous at school for being optimistic, and having a nice smile. He was at the age of ten when he was taken to the area where the
Wolf House sat and he was left there by his mother, who left him so she could save money. Ren wandered around trying to find his mother, but he tripped and fell, knocking himself out. When he woke up he was surrounded by wolves, and there was one who, to people who know who she is, is called Lupa. Being a friendly child, Ren tried to play with Lupa to start with, and then figured out fast she wasn't one to play. He spent a few months with her and then headed south to the camp, which he didn't know of. When he reached it, he went through the stuff that happens to newbies there, and after 3 years of training he was claimed and was a full fledged legionnaire. His first year, he was able to do nothing but run. Around the end of his second year, he was given a magic bracelet from a camper, for doing his chores. When he became a legionnaire he was given a smile, and then, he tried to stay away from his Cohort, because he was bullied and teased, so he spent the next few years sleeping with the unicorns. During his second year, he was pushed around and shoved into walls by older campers, but it did not seem to affect Ren, and he made some friends. During the war games, he was always on the attacking side and he eventually became a skilled fighter, learning to use the shield and a spear. He was usually smashed into the ground by a water cannon. On his third year, he made it over the wall first and was claimed when he got to the middle. Afterwards, he was instead of the medal given a magic spear. He found out his father was Sol, God of the Sun.

Physical Appearance: Ren has dirty blonde hair and a bright smile. He is tall and fit for his age, around 6 feet. His face has an older look to it, and he has light blue eyes. He is broad for his age and has minor muscle tone.

Personality: Ren is a friendly person who is kind and nice to every person he meets. He is overprotective of his friends, and can act like a older brother to some people. When there's danger he is the one who is smiling and is always thinking positively. With people who are rude he tries to smile and make them not act rude or mean. When he becomes uncomfortable he tries to focus on something else. He rarely gets mad at people, and tries to cheer people up. He is a person who wants people to smile and be happy, and tries to be a example of it.

Fatal Flaw: Loyalty to friends. Ren is too loyal to his friends, never knowing when to give up. Jace would rather kill himself than let a friend die. His loyalty is because of his wanting to be a good friend, and not wanting to lose any friends, like he did his mother. He does not want his friends to go.

Talents: Track and field, swimming, and sun burst (his godly ability, which acts like a flash bang, but only happens when he is experiencing a ton of fear, and is in a dire situation, and it only affects up to ten feet away. At the time he finds out he has this, he cannot control it, but after a while, he will learn to control it. The drawbacks are that it can affect him and he becomes tired and worn out.)

Weapons: The Sun Dial, a collapsable shield that turns into a wrist band, and can turn back by touching the sun design on his bracelet, that the shield turns into. When in shield form it glows.

Sun Spear: A magical spear that turns into a mechanical pencil. Turns into a spear by clicking the thing that makes the lead come out. When in spear form it glows.

Other: None


Last edited by Ren Shikami on Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:50 pm; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : Grammar was annoying me.)
Ren Shikami
Ren Shikami

Posts : 46
Join date : 2014-04-10

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Ren Shikami
Character Rank: Legionnaire
Cohort: Fifth Cohort

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Post by Axel The Bunny Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:51 am

Alright you have a few grammar mistakes, but those dont affect the approval process.

Well history needs to be a bit longer, also looking at the sun directly for hours would probably make him go blind, or at least damage his vision, even with sunglasses.

Your history also doesn't give me any real insight on his life while at camp or before camp. Also it only takes a year for full legionnaire status. and if your character has been here for 3 years, you should share some of their experiences while at camp.

Ok for your personality you have alot of repetition what im getting from it is Friendly, loyal, protective, and optimistic. can you add a bit more to that too please.

I really like your power, since it has several counterbalances like it still having an effect on him, and the energy toll. Also the fact he can't just randomly blind people and limited range, so I'll say that is good.

normally we restrict weapons with magical properties, but yours seem to only really be magical in a way that make them convenient, after all it isn't exactly practical to be carrying a full sized shield and spear around, so if Ceru and Jake dont have problems with the weapons I would say that they are alright to have.


so elaborate on history and personality, and change a few of the less realistic parts of the history out(like the staring at the sun thing) and you should be good to go.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 72
Join date : 2014-03-13
Age : 27

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Terra Bennet
Character Rank: N/A
Cohort: Unaffiliated

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Post by Cerulaen Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:08 am

Well hello, Jace.

When I saw the magical items were just a shield (whoo!) and a spear, I was fine with it. With the whole staring at the sun thing, if he's the son of Sol I think he'd probably have some invulnerability to the sun like that, so I don't see a problem with it. Although, his dad must have been a pretty sucky astronaut to accidentally fly into the sun... kinda made me laugh, though.

In any case, I think the main thing that confused me was that in your history, you say something about... "he's given a smile and then no one let's him in, so he sleeps with the unicorns"? I'm just wondering what the heck that means.
Cerulaen
Cerulaen

Posts : 78
Join date : 2014-03-13
Age : 26
Location : Am I allowed to say Azarath?

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Daquiri Laurens
Character Rank: N/A
Cohort: Unaffiliated

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Post by Ren Shikami Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:56 am

oh, as in none of the chorots let him in so he was forced to sleep with the unicorns. fixed it.
Ren Shikami
Ren Shikami

Posts : 46
Join date : 2014-04-10

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Ren Shikami
Character Rank: Legionnaire
Cohort: Fifth Cohort

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Post by Cerulaen Thu Apr 10, 2014 11:24 am

But what do you mean "he was given a smile"? And you might wanna edit Jace's name out of the two spots you accidently typed it in there. xP
Cerulaen
Cerulaen

Posts : 78
Join date : 2014-03-13
Age : 26
Location : Am I allowed to say Azarath?

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Daquiri Laurens
Character Rank: N/A
Cohort: Unaffiliated

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Post by Axel The Bunny Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:15 pm

I dont think you can not be accepted into any cohort, but maybe he just wasnt very welcome by the others within the cohort, or perhaps slept with the unicorns by choice to avoid somebody like a bully. but honestly i dont think a person can be not let into any cohort.
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 72
Join date : 2014-03-13
Age : 27

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Terra Bennet
Character Rank: N/A
Cohort: Unaffiliated

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Post by Cerulaen Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:36 pm

Well, no--in the books you had to be spoken for to be accepted into the Legion in the first place. If Hazel hadn't stood for Percy, he wouldn't have had anywhere to go.
Cerulaen
Cerulaen

Posts : 78
Join date : 2014-03-13
Age : 26
Location : Am I allowed to say Azarath?

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Daquiri Laurens
Character Rank: N/A
Cohort: Unaffiliated

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Post by Axel The Bunny Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:30 am

Alright looks good to me.

Approved, wait for another admin to approve you though

based off your character I feel like he would be at home in the fifth cohort
Axel The Bunny
Axel The Bunny

Posts : 72
Join date : 2014-03-13
Age : 27

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Terra Bennet
Character Rank: N/A
Cohort: Unaffiliated

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Post by Cerulaen Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:57 am

I STILL don't get the "given a smile" thing, but what freaking ever... Approved. You will be assigned the Fifth Cohort.
Cerulaen
Cerulaen

Posts : 78
Join date : 2014-03-13
Age : 26
Location : Am I allowed to say Azarath?

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Daquiri Laurens
Character Rank: N/A
Cohort: Unaffiliated

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Post by Ren Shikami Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:59 pm

It's was a smile of like, congratulations.

And awesome I'm fifth cohort!
Ren Shikami
Ren Shikami

Posts : 46
Join date : 2014-04-10

Character Sheet
Primary Character: Ren Shikami
Character Rank: Legionnaire
Cohort: Fifth Cohort

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